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A good thing, or a bad thing?

At 23, you’d think I would have gotten this down pat.


Four Days

Posted on: March 12, 2009

It’s Thursday today. Four days since he has called. What does that mean? Is he waiting for me to call? I know I said before to call me on the day and ask what if I wanted to hang out. And what was with all those summer activities he said we would do? He was planning to have me in his life at least in the short term future.

I hope I’m not some social experiement he’s doing to upgrade his skills. Although, as someone who owns his own business, isn’t he too busy for that?

in high school or university, you would have no qualms about getting to know new friends? Everyone is a student, most don’t have dark secrets or shady ulterior motives.

After graduation, your sample size exponentially increases to the point that you cannot determine who is good and who is bad. This person might be good, but how can you trust a stranger? How long can you talk, to the point that you trust them enough to stop talking, and start acting and making decisions about them? How long does it take to be comfortable around them?

I’m so torn. One minute I think he is a possbility but the next I find the whole idea repulsive.

We were packing up, when NP ask if I was in a hurry to go somewhere. I was just rushing because he was all done, and last week, he left before me. I just said I was just kinda frazzled because I had so much stuff to pack up.

Was that a way to test me?

I also talked about next term’s class, if he was signing up. He talked about it in the parking lot too. He said he either needed me or Mike to lead him, or he would not end up be successful in anything of the dishes.

I don’t like that he doesn’t think before speaking, unlike SP who weighs every single word depending on what he thinks you like. Both are not ideal.

and i kind of like it. :T

He’s a charmer, that one. I should be careful.

to like someone?

Do you think of them once a day? twice a day? constantly? Waiting for them to call?

Can that be a crush/infatuation? You feel that even though you don’t know them well enough? Or there just pique your interest because they are a type of person you’ve never met before?

I’ve never felt like this before. To have someone be so forward to me. Maybe I just like the attention. How do you tell the difference between liking the attention and liking the person?

Isn’t love supposed to be simple?

SP called today, but it was during an event I was at, so I didn’t pick up. Obviously he didn’t leave a message. If he doesn’t leave a message, he doesn’t even hear my calls, so why would I call him back? I know I said before to L that I would delete him on my phone, but if he had called me, I wouldn’t know who it was and it would be rude to ask. She said I would recognize his voice.

I’m not sure why he is calling actually. Unless he though bolting away was ending the “date” on a high note. People date for many reasons though, some for dinners, some for self-esteem. I didn’t like the way he asked questions, like it was a job interview. I hate him making me feel inadequate. And being a fashion snob.

SP reminds me of Jason. They’re kind of the same, but different too, but he reminds me of him. They’re similar in a way that they’re both girl-centred, driven and self-confident. They’re both kind of short with baby faces and not exactly ripped. Except Jason is so much easier to talk to because he talks about his life and his problems and genuinely asks about yours, and SP just talks about clothes, networking and asking random off-guard deep questions that you’re not ready for.

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