vivre sunday

We were packing up, when NP ask if I was in a hurry to go somewhere. I was just rushing because he was all done, and last week, he left before me. I just said I was just kinda frazzled because I had so much stuff to pack up.

Was that a way to test me?

I also talked about next term’s class, if he was signing up. He talked about it in the parking lot too. He said he either needed me or Mike to lead him, or he would not end up be successful in anything of the dishes.

I don’t like that he doesn’t think before speaking, unlike SP who weighs every single word depending on what he thinks you like. Both are not ideal.

and i kind of like it. :T

He’s a charmer, that one. I should be careful.

to like someone?

Do you think of them once a day? twice a day? constantly? Waiting for them to call?

Can that be a crush/infatuation? You feel that even though you don’t know them well enough? Or there just pique your interest because they are a type of person you’ve never met before?

I’ve never felt like this before. To have someone be so forward to me. Maybe I just like the attention. How do you tell the difference between liking the attention and liking the person?

Isn’t love supposed to be simple?

SP called today, but it was during an event I was at, so I didn’t pick up. Obviously he didn’t leave a message. If he doesn’t leave a message, he doesn’t even hear my calls, so why would I call him back? I know I said before to L that I would delete him on my phone, but if he had called me, I wouldn’t know who it was and it would be rude to ask. She said I would recognize his voice.

I’m not sure why he is calling actually. Unless he though bolting away was ending the “date” on a high note. People date for many reasons though, some for dinners, some for self-esteem. I didn’t like the way he asked questions, like it was a job interview. I hate him making me feel inadequate. And being a fashion snob.

SP reminds me of Jason. They’re kind of the same, but different too, but he reminds me of him. They’re similar in a way that they’re both girl-centred, driven and self-confident. They’re both kind of short with baby faces and not exactly ripped. Except Jason is so much easier to talk to because he talks about his life and his problems and genuinely asks about yours, and SP just talks about clothes, networking and asking random off-guard deep questions that you’re not ready for.

It is true that I hate people telling me what to do.

That I am a middle management type of person. Like to organize people.

That I have a notepad and pen in my bag.

In effort to not look too eager, I have begun to seem uninterested.

Does saying that you are going to cook dinner on Saturday (both of your interests are in cooking) – valentine’s day, mean that you have a date? After you tell him, he goes on to name a restaurant that he’s had that in. There are dancers who perform for you. You ask if it is any good, he says it is, although a little be pricey. Then you don’t respond for like half an hour because you are on the phone. But you don’t tell him that you will be away. Total turn-off rudeness?

if he signs off saying he is tired, and is heading off. You respond sorry that you have been slow to reply, and then reply to his message. he says have a good weekend, see you next week.

Epic fail? She’s Just Not That Into You? Am I?

don’t people get more and more attractive the better you know and admire them?

Maybe you get more used to their face and start to look at features individually to see if they are more redeeming. I’ve been thinking about this about NP today. After I read C’s email about her limit of seeing this guy 4 times before she determines if she just wants to be his friend or more. I mean, I’ve got to be less superficial some time, right?

I have parts of myself that I absolutely hate, and that is probably what sticks out the most if someone finds me physically unattractive.

Also read an email today, that made me smile. It’s from a long time ago that someone I hardly know wrote to me, and while I liked it then, I can appreciate it even more now.

“You are just on the beginning road to your career, friends could be a big help, go to attend more meetings and gatherings to get to know the people in the [my field] circles may become very important. For the friends, Don’t go for looks; they can deceive. Don’t go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you thinking and smile.”

The English is not perfect, but that’s what makes it so nice.

How important are looks? I guess the bare minimum is to not find him repulsive. The most important thing is how he makes you feel when you’re with him. With everyone’s picture posted on Facebook nowadays, after date #1, girls can (and do) look at every single picture of the guy on facebook, analyzing him from every angle, looking for flaws. If you’re flawless, you have nothing to worry about. Otherwise, she’s (or maybe just me) going to think of some superficial reason to not be interested in you.

I know I’m superficial when it comes to being attracted to guys. There’s a list of physical requirements. But I think they are there because I don’t really know what kind of guy I want. High standards are better than no standards, am I right? I’m sure when I meet the right one, that list is going to get thrown out the window.

There are two things though that get me every time.

1) Eyebrows.

Guys. If you have hairy eyebrows, please try to keep them from being totally out of control. A little natural manscaping now and then – no one notices. SP has freaking triangle eyebrows that I will not help but pin him down and tweeze them into a normal shape if we ever get together. Or if we ever become as close friends as telling them their eyebrows are out of control. But we won’t and that is why I am writing this blog.

2) Glasses.

Nerdy glasses on guys are hot. It makes you look smarter and gives structure to your face. If you have an eyebrow problem, they cover them up too. Win-win. Thick, dark and rectangular frames, and I can’t take my eyes off his face.

Now that I actually did some work today, it feels good to keep my mind off the male gender. At first, crushing and flirting was fun. The excitment of the chase, meeting new people, etc. But now I think I’m not cut out for it. I am a person who can’t date around. I can’t focus on too many people at once, or I get distracted on the other important things in my life. My sister and two other friends I’ve known for 6 years have all told me that they imagine I will marry my first boyfriend.

This is true, I don’t think I could recover from heartbreak. Why waste a heartbreak on somone you are wishy-washy about? I guess things don’t work out even though you both love each other, but I would think being friends and really knowing each other first decreases those chances.

I really wonder who I will end up with. It would be so comforting or possibly horrifying to be able to see into the future and see what my life turns out.

There are some other reasons that my mind has been off guys too:

1) NP does not have my number.

Which means he can’t call me to chat or ask me out again. And I wont be seeing him in class for another two weeks. And there is no way you add a person to facebook if you are interested in them. And again, he is THIRTY. Although he speaks like he’s younger around me.

2) No longer interested in SP.

Partly because of the reason that NP practically said he had a bad impression of SP, which given, is a bit biased, it’s still good to know that someone has confirmed what I was feeling all along. Plus I already said I wasn’t available next weekend, which also means, two weeks without thinking about him again. Aside from him possibly calling me during these two weeks, I’m safe from male-related turmoil.

Good. I’m tired of all of this. I can finally focus on getting my school and kick-starting my career.

You know how guys look at you during a conversation and you know they are totally thinking of something else?